Funny Mother's Day

The last post was ideal.

These quotes are real, all by me... Oh the things that I, as a mother, say!

"I still have to feed the Hardmans with one stick of butter!"

"Put your shoes on and get the rice out of your armpit!"

"Evelyn, why aren't you wearing your pants?" (Her answer: I'm following Satan's plan!)


"Do you want some raisins?  Do you want some prunes?  Do you want some poo?  OH! I mean do you have to go poo?"

"If you want tongs for Christmas, you have to learn  how to treat people nicely with them!"

"Where is my pencil?  I had one in my head!"

"Go to sleep in your pee-pee bed!"

"Don't forget to measure the soap!"

"Try to only put 1 or 2 popcorn kernels in your head at once."

"Why are you not asleep yet?" (The answer: We're counting carpet hairs!)


"You can lick the salt off my eyelids..."

"Stop licking Micah's car seat!"

"Hang your barf bag up by the window."

"Stop playing with your barf bag!"

"I have an obsession with children's ear wax."

"That was a good looking piece of corn!"

(singing along to "Signing Time") "I'm a boy, I'm a boy, and I'm proud to be me!"

"I just reunited a cheese family in dust buster heaven."

(Leslie: "I'll never get tired of holding Gideon.  I'll hold him when he is older.")  Me: "You will look kind of weird holding a 35 year old man on your lap when you are 47..."

(singing) "I need a new intestine!"

"Put that thing down!" (Telling Troy to put Gideon down)

Happy Mother's Day!